Tag Archives: Stella

What a day!

Yesterday Princess texted me telling me she would arrive at my place at 19:00 and was looking forward being with me and badly wanted to play.

Princess took me a little by surprise, as I had not imagined her arriving so early. I had clothes drying in the laundry parlor and hadn’t eaten yet.

We fetched my clothes and then I took her to an Egyptian restaurant not far from where I live and outside, at the terrace, we enjoyed some delicious Shoarma.

Back home I took Princess to the bathroom to wash her when her cellular beeped.
A message from Stella telling she was feeling terrible and suffering intense abdominal cramps and if Princess could bring something that could take away the pain.
Stella spend a prolonged weekend with Star in her apartment, trying if she could coop without help, and I would take her to ‘4’, the mother/care unit on Wednesday morning.

We drove to Star, 10′ from where I live and gave her some Buscopan, stayed with her for a while, I heating a towel with hot water to put on her belly.
It is very difficult to know exactly how Stella feels because of her tendency for psychosis she often amplifies what she experiences. Princess had some cramps too so we thought it was only bad digestion.

Stella was getting tired so we left and at home I washed Princess and played with her for a short time but it was very intense and my love climaxed multiple times while lying bondaged on the floor and had a few more orgasms in bed before we fell asleep.

It must have been 2 am or so when Princess’s iPhone came to life.
It was Stella calling.
She couldn’t sleep, she was feeling very bad, the pain in her abdomen unsupportable and she couldn’t stop vomiting asking Princess to drive her to “4”.

Princess reasoned with her and they ended the conversation with a “we’ll see tomorrow morning” while I was drifting away in my sleep.

Seconds later my smart phone rang.
Stella again, pleading to take her and Star to the mother/care unit and I felt bad and helpless and Princess then took the call and told her we couldn’t and we would see in the morning.

At 06:00 Stella texted me asking to call her as her prepaid card was empty.

She was weeping and the pain horrendous and Princess, still half asleep gave me the phone number of their family doctor and I repeated it to Stella so she could call him.

We fell back asleep, Princess and I but not for long though.
Stella called her mother 20′ later asking to bring her a.s.a.p. to the nearest hospital. The family physician had diagnosed appendicitis.

Wednesday is my free day and Princess had to go to her work; not going is not an option.

I got out of bed and dressed and drove to Stella’s place and picked them both up, ignoring Stella’s pleas for an ambulance and staying calm and enduring while Stella went into overdrive.

Some 20′ later we arrived at the ER and I comforted Stella and then made a bottle of milk for Star, asked where I could find a microwave oven, fed her and made her say “blurps” and the baby girl vomited on me and I smiled because it was like having a little family over again. I felt so alive, so filled with love, just wanting to care for these two wonderful persons like I do for Princess.

Finally the diagnosis was confirmed and I phoned Princess and she was able to get free from work.

When she arrived I felt my emotions surface but I think I was able to mask it. I know I do very well in a stress situation like this but when I’m discharged or the incident is dealt with I get very emotional.

Princess and I filled in the necessary documents and then divided tasks.
I had to be back home because I had an appointment with my garage in the afternoon and Star could not stay at the hospital
So I drove home with Star to Stella’s home and when I arrived I put Star in her little bed, she was exhausted and thus very difficult.
Did some dishwashing and waited for Bo (20) and her little sister Kay, two of Princess’s daughters to arrive. It was raining and it is so silly, I know, but both girls preferred coming by bicycle rather than me picking them up at Princesses place. Even if Bo does not know me and she has no desire to change this, she and Ar (19) and The Boy (16) don’t like me although this is slowly changing.

So I quickly explained the situation not wanting to stay long so Bo wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with me in her sister’s apartment.
Bo thanked me twice for taking care of Star though.

I wrote my cellphone number down for Bo and left and went back home.


A day at the beach

Yesterday, August 3rd, was one of these days I will never forget. Each moment, each second is etched forever in my memories.

Yes, it was such a day, filled with laughter, joy and fun, happiness and togetherness.

Princess and I left early in the morning after a short night, we came home from the Fetish Cafe at 03:00 and we had to get up at 08:30. Oh boy what a great and fun experience we had. Can’t write about it at the moment as I am still processing these intensive moments and the new possibilities that now lay in front of us.

We picked up Stella and Star at ‘4’, the mother/baby care-unit and took them to Vlissingen, in The Netherlands at the North Sea coast, only an hour’s drive.

Star is 7 months now and a joyful baby girl and Stella is doing extremely well, ready to leave to care unit after 8 months, starting a new life on her own with her daughter.

The weather was great, sunny and warm with a light and refreshing breeze.

We made pictures of ourselves at the beach and even a photograph of the 4 of us, a first for me. Sure, there are photos of Princess and I and Star, or Star and me, but this was a whole new experience when Stella asked me to make one of us all.

Lying on a beach towel we enjoyed the sun, Stella cuddled up against her mother’s left side; I at Princess’s her right and Star somewhere in between. It was such a fine and intimate experience.

Here I am, I thought, with Princess and her eldest daughter and that lovely baby and I remembered our first date, nearly 2 years ago, when Princess told me about her kids, disturbed because the loss of their father, having it difficult to accept their mother with a new man, let alone having him in their house.
It was about Stella, unfortunately even more troubled, with, amongst other things, issues trusting people, that Princess told me the most.
Stella who unfortunately will need professional help in some way or another for the rest of her life.
I then assumed she would be the most difficult to get acquainted with.
Boy was I wrong.

I was sitting at the beach with Princess and Stella and Star. Stella trusts me and it was a process that steadily grew since that horrendous evening a year ago.
Princess had phoned me that evening asking me to come with her to get Stella who had been victim of domestic violence. Princess didn’t like to go alone, as she wasn’t sure the guy was still around.
I entered the house in a small alley. The night had fallen, no streetlights and the house dark and it was so damned quiet, no sound at all.

We found Stella in the bathroom, crawled away in a corner, desperately crying, bruises on her face, the fucker had even hit her belly while she was already pregnant.
So we found Stella and it was the second time we met, the first time very brief, an awkward moment, months before, when she accompanied Princess and we ran into each other on the street.

I insisted she would press charges, drove them to the police station and for the rest of that night I kept a very low profile, just being there for Princess and her daughter, ready when they would need me.
Saw Stella the day after because Princess wanted me to make photographs of the bruises.

It took several months before I saw Stella again when I offered Princess to make the birth announcement cards. Stella came to my place and we worked on the cards.
I held Star in my arms the day after she was born, before some of her sisters or brother had the chance.

The relation grew and grew, trust was gained. Stella accepted me as her mothers partner and accepted me too as, well, I don’t want to give it a name, that is not important.

Yesterday, when we dropped Stella and Star at the mother/baby care unit and when we said goodbye Stella hugged me as she had never done before and it touched me so very deep. It made me smile, it warmed my heart, it made me so happy.

So here I am, I thought.

After two years Princess’s house still only accessible when I fetch Princess or Stella and Star. No sitting down on the sofa, Princess not able to invite me for dinner nor is it possible to enjoy an evening and a few drinks in her garden.
The Boy and Ar and Bo now tolerate my presence if it is only a very short visit. They don’t talk to me but answer most of the time when I talk to them.
Princess and I have still a long way to go before even starting to imagine a night at her place.

They see their mother not that often nowadays as Princess spends about three of four nights a week at my place.

We have the incredible luxury to spend that time together alone without kids.
Well, except for Little A. of course when she is staying a weekend with me but she does not mind as she simply adores Princess.

A day at the beach

Thoughts – May 23th, 2013

It is great to look back, even if it spans only a few weeks, and notice everything is becoming better.
Princess is spending more and more of her nights at my place and I have grown accustomed waking up and seeing the Love of my life lying next to me, still sound asleep. Giving her the slightest of kisses on her forehead, afraid of waking her up, sliding out of bed, so early in the morning while the only thing I want is to stay with her.
It is so great to find traces of her in the bathroom, a toothbrush, make-up, or shoes in the dressing room and it shows how Princess is now really a part of my life. And vice versa.

A few weeks ago we spent a day at the seaside with Stella and Star. It was a nice day with lots of sun but still rather cold. I made a zillion photographs and later on, while envisioning them, Princess told me her daughter was really radiating with happiness and pleasure. For a moment Stella had forgotten her troubles. Star just smiled, sucked her bottle, pooped and slept.

We were, Princess, Stella, Star and I, for a moment, one day, a small family and it felt damn good.

Finally Stella got a message from the social housing company that an apartment was assigned to her. And in a month or two, maybe three, she will say goodbye to ‘4’, the mother/baby unit where she has been staying since the beginning of January. Letting loose, starting something new, I don’t think it will be easy for Stella but she is surrounded by people who love and care for her.

Hell, even Little A. is spending more and more time at my place.

And we, Princess and I, well, we are evolving in this BDSM lifestyle that has added so much pleasure and spice to our life, in the same time developing our personalities.
Shibari will be our next step, a mix of patience, art and photography, submission too of course.
Princess has also indicated she would love to enter the nightlife, the pubs where kindred spirits meet and off course I am all ears.

May 23th.
T-4 days
Almost 54

Fuck I have waited 52 years before being finally 100% happy in every way one can think of.
Thank you Princess.
I love you more than life.
You and I.

This picture is not mine, it downloaded it from http://axman.tumblr.com.
I need to  make my own images again.


Thoughts – April 29, 2013

The weekend was great because it was Little A’s weekend with me. On Saturday evening I welcomed Princess and we went to our dance lesson, the first session in the advanced group.
We started at the end of January and we are now already confident enough to go dancing outside our lessons and we, Princess and I, enjoy ourselves very much doing so.

When we came back home I made some sandwiches with mozzarella and tomatoes melted the cheese in the oven and added fresh basil. I have some
Just delicious and the Bin 50 2011 Shiraz went very well with it.

After that we asked Little A. if she would mind if we went back to the Cohibar for an hour or so to dance.
It was no problem whatsoever.

When we came back, later than promised, Little A. was still playing The Sims 3.
Princess and I had some more wine and we talked awhile with Little A. and then called it a day and went to bed.

The next morning, Princess had to leave early, I spend some quality time with Little A. and watched some Disney Channel stuff and after that I fixed us dinner. Fried potatoes, chipolata and fresh green beans, cooked and then fried with chopped onions adding a mix of several vinegars just before serving.

In the early evening I drove Little A. back home, after all these years it still hurts saying goodbye and I really do miss her.

Fetched Princess who had visited Stella and Star in the mother/baby unit and she told me how Stella had been intractable, drowning in a pool of fears. Even with the proper medication psychosis surfaces regularly.
I took the love of my life for a walk and then we want back home were we started planning our September holiday.
One whole week, away from home, for Princess something she hasn’t done in decades and thus completely new, not only for her but for her kids too.
We decided not to go to far, just a few hours by car and we combine a wellness weekend in Windhagen, Germany, an Xmas present we got from the family with two nights in Bonn and an extra night in the Eiffel.
And on Friday, September 20, we will be eating in a Sushi restaurant near where we live, reservations will be made for around 19:00. We will probably choose the same as we did 2 years ago, when we dated for the first time.
Sometimes it is fun to have a tradition.
After the planning I took Princess to our bedroom and held her in my arms and made love to her.

Today it is April 29 and at noon I received a text message from Princess with an awesome poem she had written for our blog. And in the late afternoon she picked me up to visit an apartment I had found for Stella.
Stella loved it and the guy from the housing company wrote down her name and address and then asked it they could contact her work.
Momentarily Stella has no work but has a replacement income but for a potential landlord this means nothing of course.

After the visit we drove Stella back to where she is staying and she freaked out and she is so afraid. Terrified that she will never have a place to stay and troubled for the future of Star, her 4-month-old baby.

We spend a few hours reasoning with her but in vain, Stella was unable to see things in their perspective.
I know Princess is used to this but I felt powerless and sad and there is little that I can do to help.

Anyway next Sunday I’ll be picking up Princess and Stella and Star and I take them for a day out.
We are going to Vlissingen, The Netherlands, sea, sun and leisure and I hope Stella will be able to forget her troubles if only for a day.
She must understand that she is not alone. Stella has her brother and her sisters and her mother who really care for her.
And me.