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Finally the times they are a-changin’

It has been one helluva week for Princess and me.
On Monday, July 1st, we drove Stella and Star to the Mother/Baby Care Unit and although it is just one hour up and one hour back it is time we are able to spend together.

The next evening we spend 2 hours on the phone talking about a zillion things and our lifestyle and things I wanted to add and asking for her thoughts and input.

Wednesday Princess and I went dancing and after that we spend the evening and the night together.
During the next lessons we have to dance with different partners so we can learn leading (men) and learn understanding the leading (women).
I discovered I have an issue with that.
Not that I am jealous, that would be plain stupid.
I guess I feel very uncomfortable dancing with another woman, I tend to lose my self-confidence rapidly because I feel I can’t dance that well so that’s why I don’t like swapping.
We talked about it, Princess and I, and I think I will be able to coop with this concern.

On Thursday Princess spend the night with me and when she arrived we talked a while and went to bed and just slept, close to one another, spooning, Princess in my arms. It feels so intimate, so delicious, so wow.

And yes, on Friday Princess spend the night with me again and no I am not complaining, au contraire.
When she arrived I immediately collared her and ordered her to undress allowing her to keep on her panties. Princess sat next to me in the couch and I started stroking her and kissing her gently, finally taking her in my arms and petting her, caressing her hair and skin while Princess nuzzled me. After a while even the slightest touch gave her goose bumps.
We played and it was very intense and I tried some new stuff. I will write about this in another post.

On Saturday, after almost 2 years, IT finally happened.
Stella received the keys of her apartment a few days ago and is of course eager to arrange her new home. She was away to wash the walls and to prepare for painting. The Boy tagged along to help his sister. Bo and Ar were both away with their boyfriends and Kay, Princess’ youngest daughter was on weekend.

That morning I drove to Princess, opened the front door and entered her house. She welcomed me, I sat down on the sofa and we drank some coffee. Star was asleep and we were babysitting her. I made friends with Mary, the cat and then Star woke up. When she saw me she smiled as only babies can.
I took Star in my arms and with Princess we made a short walk and when we came back we moved to the kitchen where I cut vegetables for Star’s meal and started preparing ours too.

Vegetables for Star

Star was sitting at the table, in between of us, in her high chair and Princess fed her while I took some photographs and kept an eye on our sandwiches with mozzarella and pesto in the oven.

Our sandwiches

Princess prepared sandwiches for Stella and The Boy and drove to the apartment leaving me alone with Star.
I enjoyed the moment, enjoying being at Princess’ place and imagining living there with her in a far future, just being happy and growing old together.

Star was sitting on my knees in front of Kay’s piano and I held her little hands pushing them on the keys and enjoying the gaze of astonishment in her eyes.

After a while I took Star back to the kitchen and I started washing the dishes. There is a window at the sink and you can look straight in the hallway.

I heard the door open and someone joyfully shouted hello.
For just a moment I froze as I saw Bo entering with her boyfriend.

We both thought Bo was away kayaking but she had forgotten her bikini and sunscreen and of course she did not know I was there.
Bo does not want to be confronted with me and whenever I come over to fetch Princess, Stella and Star, I ring the doorbell, wait a few moments giving Bo time to go to another room.

She saw me too of course and I noticed the shock on her face. I smiled and simply said hello and continued washing dishes. As if me being there was quite normal.
Bo said hello too and ran as quickly as she could to her room with her boyfriend in her wake.

I felt a little nervous of course and after washing the dishes I went back to the living room and put Star in her box and talked to her and she made all kinds of silly noises and laughed.

Then Princess arrived and I told her what had happened and she laughed and then Bo came down and her boyfriend smiled at me and said hello (we had never met before). Bo could not leave quick enough.

At the front door Princess asked if she didn’t want to say goodbye.
“Bye,” Bo said but her ordeal was not over yet.
“Why don’t you give Nell a kiss?” Princess went on.

Hell, I knew why, I was sitting next to the box keeping an eye on Star.
Very unenthusiastic Bo came back doing her best not to make eye contact with me.
She took Star out of the box and hugged her. When she made an attempt to put Star back in her box the baby started to cry.
Poor Bo.
Princess was still at the front door so Bo had no other option than handing me Star, putting her in my arms.
I smiled at her and wished her a great afternoon.

Later on Princess told me she thought the act of Bo handing over the baby to me was very symbolic. She explained that her kids have also an issue with me being close with Star as for them it is not my role but that of their father who, unfortunately is not around anymore. Seeing me with Star, playing and feeding this beautiful little baby, underlines each time their loss.

Half an hour later Stella and The Boy arrived and Stella gave me a big hug and I said hi to The Boy. He mumbled a greeting back and vanished quickly to his room.

Then I left, went back to my place and spend the afternoon sunbathing on my terrace.

Later that Saturday Princess came over and we went dancing and came home late and once again we spend a wonderful night in each others arms.

Princess left early on Sunday but at 13:00 I was back at her place again to picker her, Stella and Star up and we drove to her parents and spend a very pleasant afternoon with them.
It felt so good, so natural and so intense.
We ended dropping Stella and Star at “4”, the Mother/Baby unit.
Then Princess went home to spend some Q-time with her kids.

For a while I sat on my terrace with a glass of red wine, reviewing the week while the remaining light faded away.

One thing I knew for sure.
I was going to miss Princess very much.


Now is the spring
Of our life together.
So fresh, filled with promises,
Sparkling as morning dew.

I want to travel
Across summer with you,
Warm and trustful,
You and me
Dancing trough life.

Further towards autumn,
Enjoying each other’s company,
Telling stories to one another
Of the days that lay behind us.

Then the winter
With you in my arms.
Thankful for the time
That was given us
To spend together.
You and Me.




Saturday, December 29th.
Princess came by and we looked at photographs I had made of The Baby, N., and photographs her daughter had made.
I opted for an image B., one of her daughters had made.
Princess phoned to the mother as the final name wasn’t sure yet. She asked me to mail the design to her two daughters. More phone calls and then finally the last piece was added to the puzzle.
The layout of the card was approved, I had green light to start the production of 60 cards.

I’ll come over later and help you, Princess said, kissing me and then she was gone.

I have 40 sheets of Steinbach drawing paper each measuring 270mm x 360mm so I could print 3 card on one page with my Canon Pixma Pro 9500 Mark II.

Made some test prints so I could get the b&w picture of N. right and then I started printing.

It took the bigger part of the afternoon printing and cutting the cards by hand.

When Princess arrived later that evening the work was almost finished.
“Need some help?” she asked.
“No sweetheart, not for this, maybe later on because there are other things I need you help for.”
She smiled and turned to Little A.
“Let’s bake pancakes,” she said.
“Yessssssss,” little A. replied with a big smile.

When they finished making the pancakes I had finished to, the printer spit out the last sheet. I used my cutter. One cut to hurt the paper so I was able to fold the 250gr per square meter paper and 6 real cuts, I could do it all in less than a minute.

The pancakes where delicious and I had one, Princess had created a heart-shaped one.

I enjoyed the fact Princess and Little A. had a connection, wish I could have this with her kids to.

Later on that evening Princess yawned, she was tired.
We went to bed.
Our battlefield.