Tag Archives: Antwerp

An evening in town – A first

Princess and I have been talking about it for some time now and we finally made our minds up.
We are expanding our D/s lifestyle to the outside world.
It is a limited step but an important one.

Princess holds a public function making her vulnerable for compromising or awkward situations. I for myself do not care the least as at work I hardly have contact with outside customers, only being confronted, as IT-guy, with some 600 colleagues in the same building. Most of them I know by face and or by name.

So what is it about?
This Friday evening we are going to the well-known Fetish Cafe in Antwerp for our very first contact with other people from the D/s scene.

The Fetish Cafe is situated in a small alley in the old center of Antwerp and is in fact a series of very old cellars giving the place a dungeon style look & feel.
One can rent private rooms equipped with all sorts of fun stuff like a winch, scaffolds and a Saint Andrew’s cross for a very democratic 25 Euro per hour.
Here is a link with an English written presentation to the Fetish Cafe.

It is a closed BDSM-club on Saturdays but on Friday it is open.

When Princess, Little A. and myself where in Antwerp about a week ago we went trough the alley but didn’t find the Fetish Cafe as it keeps a very low profile.

We have no clue what to expect this evening so it makes if even more thrilling.

Princess will be taking her collar but will not be wearing it when we enter because I do not want to make her feel uncomfortable. If the mood is right and there are more D/s present she promised me to put it on.

If we like the place we will be going there more often and I can imagine renting a private dungeon for us both in the future.

Princess and I are not yet ready to visit the Fetish Cafe during the private and thus closed BDSM-events. Although it is not a swinger club sex is allowed during these privately organized happenings.
I don’t mind watching other people but Princess and I don’t want our physical integrity to be compromised in any way.
We don’t want to be shared or even being touched by somebody else and this is an absolute hard limit.
Besides that everything goes a far as I am concerned as long as Princess feel at ease and comfortable.

Tomorrow we are spending the whole day at the beach in Vlissingen, The Netherlands, and we are taking Stella and Star with us.

So don’t expect an account of our evening in the Fetish Cafe before Sunday.

Taken from the website of The Fetish Café
Taken from the website of The Fetish Café

Thoughts – August 1st, 2013

I haven’t been writing much lately.
One reason is lack of inspiration.
I guess my muse is away on holiday or she got fed up with me and left.

The past two weeks Little A. stayed with me and I gave her as much quality time as possible. We did lot’s of stuff together and one evening we took Princess out for dinner to Antwerp and it was just great and fun and the mussels delicious and tasty.

When my daughter is staying at my place Princess and I can’t play the way we are used to either. No spanking, whipping or other stuff that makes noises of makes Princess scream or yell or moan heavily.

I miss the playing though, not only its intensity and the pleasure it brings us both, but also thinking of a scenario, putting it together, adding the music, creating a mood.

Yesterday evening I pulled the sofa in front of my iMac and Princess and I watched “Eyes Wide Shut”. I had talked about this movie extensively in the past and Princess was dying to see it. She loved the erotic atmosphere, the way the scenes were lit and the story itself.

It is mainly about infidelity and  is a topic that makes me not only feel uncomfortable  but lets  old but not forgotten pain surface generating fear it will happen again.

Unfortunately I am a field expert.
I was cheated on during my first long relationship many years ago and I still remember how it hurt. When I found out the first time it felt as if the ground was going to open and swallow me into black darkness where trust and believe and hope do not exist. I felt so damned lost, trust vanished and my self-esteem crumbling. Was it my fault? Was I not enough a man? Was I neglecting her?
It was almost like sitting in a small life-boat riding huge waves not knowing where one is being led to nor having any control over what is happening.
She was unfaithful with one of my best friends.
As it always does it seems.
I forgave her but could not forget and never felt the same trust I did before.
No more than a half-year later she had something with her hairdresser. To get even I cheated on her too but it made me feel even worse. After that I simply left her and it took me a hell of a time to learn and trust a partner again.

Years later, she long forgotten, another good friend of mine, half drunk, confessed he had her too when I was two days in Paris for my work. Yes, I could remember that evening very clear when I tried to phone her from the hotel and the phone ringed and ringed and was not answered. My stomach twitching and contracting near to vomiting. And how she told me the next day she had gone out on a girl’s evening. Yeah the hell you were!

Not long after I left her she hooked up with a father of two who left his wife and sold his house to be with her.

After I divorced the mother of my daughters, it simply didn’t work and there was no cheating involved,  it took me some time before I was ready for a new relationship.

Then I met someone with whom I was together for about 9 months. One evening, a friend and colleague and his wife had just left after enjoying dinner with us, she told me she was going to leave me. She felt that our relationship was more like a brother/sister thing and anyway, she added, she was back with her ex since a few months but she lacked the courage to tell me earlier not wanting to hurt my feelings.
Yeah sure you didn’t.

I guess this is the reason why I don’t have that many friends and that I do not like being part of a group as I still feel, deep in me, the fear to be cheated on again and I know what it does to a man (or a woman) and I don’t want to be there anymore. Never ever.

Fortunately Princess has helped me , with patience and understanding, getting rid of my fears, reassuring me and explaining that bad things don’t always happen over and over.

I want to emphasize I trust Princess completely and unconditionally.
I have never loved as deep as I love Princess.

Cleaning up

Falling asleep

Yesterday we went for dinner, Little A. , Princess and me and it was a wonderful evening.
We ate mussels in the exquisite “Rooden Hoed“, a well know bistro in Antwerp.

Mussels

After our delicious meal I took the girls for some sightseeing like the pedestrians tunnel under the river Scheldt leading to Antwerp Left Bank where we finished our evening at an overcrowded Salsa event. We didn’t dance though.

Pedestrian tunnel

Back home Little A., exhausted, went right to bed and Princess enjoyed a bath while I checked my stats on WordPress.com.

We went to bed and I lay on my back, naked and I pulled Princess on me, her back on my torso, spreading her legs with my knees, one arm over her chest, just beneath her throat, pulling her down against me and letting her almost no room to move.

She quivered when I started caressing her with the tip of my fingers in an ever so gentle touch.

Sliding down over her throat, her sides where she is so sensible, down over her hip, and up again, over her inner thigh and groin and over her stomach and further, between her breasts, then the shoulder and arm, ending at her wrist.
Soon goose bumps appeared and Princess whispered, with that soft and sexy voice of hers, how intense it felt and how much she loved me.

I repeated the patting, stroking other parts of her skin with some fur.
“Oh my,” Princess sighed and gazed at me, eyes incredible deep pools of pure love.

Deliberately I did not touch her breasts or nipples but in stead nibbled softly at her earlobe, a very sensitive spot of hers I discovered only a few days ago.
I played with her clit, Princess was very wet, playing and teasing, mirroring my movements with my teeth in her earlobe.
Princess arched her back, sighed and just before she closed them I noticed her eyes cloud.
She was so ready to embrace an orgasm so I stopped moving my fingers and went back to stroking her most sensitive spots like the inner side of her wrists, thighs, groin and sides just beneath the ribs.

“Mmmm,” Princess moaned, her face showing absolute satisfaction.
Started massaging her warm and wet sweet spot again, stopping just seconds before Princess climaxed, going back to gentle stroking.

Repeated this process over and over and then Princess groaned it was sheer torture.
I smiled and continued caressing her, pushing her to and pulling her back from release I knew she was now craving for.

“Please Milord, let me come, I can’t stand it anymore. Please?” Princess begged.
I went on with my sweet torture.
“Please Milord, I’ll do everything for You, I promise I will. I beg You, let me come. Please? This torture is maddening, I can’t…”
I gave her two short slaps with a wooden spoon on her mons pubis and then circled my thumb gently over her burning sex.
Princess screamed when she finally found the release she was longing for, her body convulsing, her beautiful eyes filled with tears and whispering “I love you… I love you…” repeating it as a mantra, ejaculating on my belly.

She shifted her body so she could snuggle against me, her warm skin against mine and I held her, comforting her while her rapid breathing and increased heart beat slowly calmed down.

I guess we simply drifted away walking up the next morning still holding each other.

“Good morning, my love,” I whispered.
“Good morning to you too,” she smiled.

It was so moving looking at her lovely face and body, softly illuminated by rays of early morning light peeking through the curtains of our bedroom.
Then I cried as I still can’t grasp how happy Princess makes me, how my life has become so intense.

Another seed pod

About yesterday, July 21st, 2013

Blimey, it is blistering.
Hot in my apartment.
Hot outside.
Hot everywhere.
33°C (some 90°F) today and there is no wind, not even the slightest of breezes.

I didn’t sleep very well last night as my bedroom felt like an oven. The windows were open but then I hear the yelling of the tipsy youngsters or the agonizing cries of the drunk on the street as if they are standing next to my bed.

I’m sweating abundantly and I feel sticky yet sensual and hot.
Little A. is to the hairdresser and at noon Princess came by for lunch.

Yesterday, July 21st, Princess and Me had an afternoon to us and I took her to the Middelheim Museum in Antwerp a 30 hectares park.
Copied from their very informative website:

The Middelheim Museum collection contains approximately 400 works of art collected up over a period of more than 50 years. Works date from around 1900 to the present, and as a collection they provide an excellent overview of international modern and contemporary art.
Every year sees new works added to the collection. Around 215 sculptures have been placed in the park, including works by major artists such as Auguste Rodin, Rik Wouters, Henry Moore, Juan Muñoz, Carl Andre, Panamarenko, Franz West, Erwin Wurm and many others. Stately trees, broad paths and inviting grassy clearings complete the vista.”

Two ladies

In Brussels King Albert 2 had already abdicated in favor of his son, now King Philippe, during this extremely warm National Holiday. I could imagine the Military defile greeting the new King while fighter planes fly over the royal palace displaying the national colors.

Princess and I had a wonderful afternoon enjoying the art on display and the cool under the trees. We talked and kissed and laughed and felt happy and ever so carefree.
On a terrace in the shadow we enjoyed a beer and talked some more, holding hands and losing ourselves in each other’s eyes.

Product of an Antwerp brewery

Time passes so quickly and soon, much to soon it was time to drive her home.

I kissed my Princess, said goodbye and whispered how much I love her, my heart, my soul, me, belonging to her forever and one day.

There is not a single day that passes without me praising Someone because Princess is in my life.

Firmament with Princess and I

Princess is without any doubt ma raison d’être.
I love you, Princess, unconditionally.

Coming out ? #ASMSG

A blog post on Rubber Bound Princess Diaries I read the other day made me think, well, reflect may be a better description and inspired me writing what you now see on you screen.

The writer has an issue forcing him to visit his physician and tells him he is in a D/s relation. The way it was written how the good doctor reacted made me smile. For him it was the first time he told someone about his fetish life.

Princess and I live our fetish at home but we do not take part of events. Yet that is but we are thinking about it.
We have nobody to discuss or talk with about our D/s lifestyle and we don’t feel we need it.
Well, I need it much more than she does.
Seven or eight months ago I kind of got connected with a colleague. We work both at the IT-department but in different divisions. I can’t recall how it happened but I’m pretty sure we found ourselves at the same table in the company restaurant.

We chit-chatted awhile and from that a more serious conversation emerged. It was very pleasant so the next day we had lunch together again and we even had a few drinks in a nearby pub later on that week and gradually we became friends. Most of our discussions were philosophical reflections but we also talked about our personal lives.
I quickly noticed B. found it therapeutically to talk about his personal life as his was tormented with several issues that had found their origins in his youth.

I trusted him and he was, is, very open-minded and makes no judgments or assumptions.
One day I told him about Princess and our D/s lifestyle and it felt so liberating to do so, even if B. was not a part of the community and had little or no idea what it was all about.
Yes, it was liberating and it gave me new ideas while expressing myself and B. challenged me offering me new point of view.
I learnt it can be of great value to be able to exchange ideas with somebody else, to be able to look outside the box one is sitting in, work with new insights, new ideas.
Unfortunately for our still evolving friendship I noticed some two months ago B. was not well and we talked about this and his feelings and fears. From my experience I feared my new friend was on his way down where a burn-out was eagerly waiting to devour him.
B. was already in therapy with psychiatrist but it was not enough and then one day he didn’t show up at work and stayed home for at least 6 weeks.
When B. came back 2 weeks ago things weren’t the same. He keeps far away from al personal contact, just trying to do his job and not wanting to connect anymore, with no one.
I can only hope B. will get better but after having talked to him twice during lunch this past week it is sad to see that he is merely a shadow of who he was.
I’ve lost my sounding board and I miss being able to talk about my D/s lifestyle and the input one gets from such pondering.

There is my blog but by its nature it is mostly unidirectional communication i.e. writer -> reader.

I decided to create a profile on Fetlife in the hope I could connect to a few people with whom I could write, exchange experiences, ideas and so on. I am not chasing numbers, just a small handful will do.
Up to now the results are almost zero as it seems to be an extremely closed community. I try to find interesting profiles and then write them a message to present myself, motivating why I am contacting them and asking politely of they would accept a friendship request.
It is of course possible that I am doing this the wrong way.

Princess and I are thinking of visiting the Fetish Café in Antwerp and maybe after a while we will make friends. Mind you, not to play together of course, that is an absolute hard limit for us both.

Seeds

Bricks

It was one of those hectic weekends where I drove around as a madman, making sure Big A. was on time in Antwerp where she was a hostess on a fair, a school project, and trying to be on time to fetch her later on. In between I picked up The Eldest One and The Baby and drove them to Princess.

That Saturday, February 23rd, it was freezing cold and in the early afternoon I dropped The Eldest One and The Baby at their mother/baby unit and drove further to Antwerp, stopped on the way at a McDonald’s and parked an hour later near the Middelheim Museum.

Like I said, it was freezing cold but I was dressed for it. I enjoyed the walk, made a zillion photographs with my Olympus E-PM1 and found the work of Per Kirkeby. It is just a building, impressive and huge, made with bare bricks and with multiple door openings.
It inspired me.

Bricks I

While strolling around with a Lumix 14mm prime lens on my Olympus, I made a few images that represented in a way my state of mind.
Princess and I discovered and enjoyed bdsm, mostly the SM part and we still do now and then and we miss this kind of playing.
I am more and more tender while making love to Princess and she likes it very much and yet she misses the rough play too.

What has changed as we miss the mix of pain and pleasure but enjoy the desire of making love in a very affectionate way?

Bricks II

I think I know why and I have been trying to write about this almost unnoticeable and positive shift in our relationship. Haven’t posted it yet because I’m not happy with the way I’m telling the story. Still polishing.

It has to do with The Eldest One and The Baby and the positive impact on our relation, Princess and I.

Bricks III