About a year ago I did a few full suspensions and Princess liked it a lot. Yet we did not continue on this road. I did not feel comfortable tying a full suspension, I was afraid something bad might happen to Princess like nerve injury or so.
Tying a suspension felt like a stressful event so it was not a very pleasurable experience for me.
So we concentrated on floor play and floor suspension using rope for D/s and SM like with the coconut rope.
Being at home for a week and a half due to dark storms in my head, I spend much of my time watching videos on Vimeo and Youtube about tying techniques that lead to a full suspension.
Last week we practiced on a hip harness. Also I knew Princess find it difficult to support herself in a take-toke breast harness where here arms are tied behind her back. The stress on her shoulders become rather quick uncomfortable. She likes a TK during floor play though.
Yesterday evening, I tied a Shinju chest harness which leaves the arms free. A Shinju is quite decorative but also gives good support for a suspension.
Then I tied a hip harness. Over the past days I tried several types but this one seemed to give good support on the back, the butt and the upper thighs. There are many variations possible.
The Shinju and the hip harness are presented on the excellent Youtube channel “Crash Restraint”.
I fixed a support line on the breast harness, pulled it through the ring and while setting tension on the line I asked Princess not to tip-toe.
The line went over the ring again and then I secured the lines.
Next was the hip harness and and a few seconds later Princess was hanging in the ropes feeling happy as a clam. Everything felt very comfortable and we both felt safe too.
For a while I experimented with rope raps around her legs, re-positioning Princess while she explained what she felt, how her load shifted.
We had a blast.
I made a few pictures. When I had a suspension point drilled in the ceiling of our living, more than a year ago, that point was determined by how the furniture was set up.
Today I don’t own a TV-set anymore and the couch is placed differently.
What this means is that for floor-suspension I have enough room to step back and take photographs. With suspension it don’t so on the images I took yesterday I don’t have a nice background. This image seems a little unreal because I quickly photoshopped Princess out of the image.
I’m at home today and probably the whole week. It depends on how I feel. Lately it has been stormy in my head. Nothing to worry about really. It will pass, clear up.
I am an experience expert so I know when to take necessary action in order to control these storms.
Today I found an intense level of mindfulness while playing with rope.
First I tidied up my bamboo box filled with rope. Coiled them again and bundled them by type in a cloth.
I have still quite some untreated rope, both jute and hemp, 6 and 5 mm so I did a few 8 meter lengths. Boiling them for about 5 to 10 minutes and then untwisting the rope and hanging them to dry.
Then I unrolled one of my tatami mats, grabbed my iPad and some rope and sat down. I had some incense burning and choose Miserere by Italian composer Gregorio Allegri from my playlist.
I grabbed some rope and closed my eyes while the music enveloped me. Bit by bit, like a snake whose old skin peels off, I relaxed and felt how the storm in my head calmed down.
Then there was only me, my personal space, the rope and the music. Everything else had faded into oblivion.
Earlier today I had watched a video on YouTube on how to tie a suspension enabling foot harness.
I used my left foot to make the tie using about 5mm jute rope.
My first attempt was to tight and thus uncomfortable. The second attempt felt very okay.
Just for fun I did the tie again. Then I suspended myself to the point where I supported myself only on the back of my head. It felt comfortable, even after 5 minutes.
Made a few photographs.
Then I did the tie again, with 6mm jute. It did feel a little more comfortable.
I had a pretty swell afternoon and I do feel more relaxed already.
I need to stay focused and do whatever I love to do in order to compensate for the stuff I don’t like to do (anymore).
Even though I got it all, love, a good job, friends, no real worries, demons out of the past are catching up with me again.
I’m taking some time off at work to concentrate on what I really love. That’s Princess, BDSM, Dominance, rope. I like to add some photography and writing to this already titillating mix of pleasurable stuff.
I believe I am quite good at tying a simple gote. Obviously there is still much room for improvement but there are other ties too.
So these past few days I have been studying the futomomo tie. It is a leg binding tie that can be used on the ground or in suspension and handy for sex. The nice thing about the futomomo is that the way you tie it may vary and thus offering quite some creativity.
Yesterday evening, Tuesday, I tried it on my model, the godly Lena Rogerdottir.
Made a few variations, then tried the 6mm jute I recently bought and treated, then ended the evening with a limited floor suspension using the coconut rope.
I made some photographs. They are great, they really are. I make the best photographs in the world.
This afternoon, checking the images in Lightroom, I can see my errors, both in tying and in taking an image. Some of the latter can be solved with Photoshop albeit that is not the way I generally work.
I post my images in a close Facebook group matching myself with newbies like me and the best of the world. Intimidating but I’m getting there too. It is nice to see that my work is appreciated.
Then my model, Lena Rogerdottir, and I subscribed to an Esinem training on the hip harness. Indeed that tie is still missing in my repertoire.
After that we went to bed and we talked for a while and then dozed off.
She was awake before me and then I woke up. We made love and it was ferocious and Lena ravenous for yet another orgasm. I spanked her, flogged her and fucked her to kingdom come.
In the late afternoon I downloaded a few chapters of her new book Maggie Carpenter mailed me. I read her work for typos and inconsistencies. I love doing this kind of stuff as I do learn new expressions and other writing stuff.
Tomorrow I’ll be trying the hip harness. After that I’ll be taking, with my model, classes on suspension.
“Connection. For me, it is all about communicating with the rope. Making it an extension of my hands and my will. It is all about how you apply the rope and handle the person you tie. I love to see it give pleasure whether that be through sensuality or pain. That creates a very erotic feedback loop when it happens.”
Bruce Esinem, interview for Dominant Desires, November 2016
Not much is going on. I consider that to be a good thing.
These past two Saturday evenings we spend at the club. Past Saturday was about impact play and a hungry Princess took second helpings with a short break in between. The Saturday before was about tying and using the coconut rope. We did an intimate scene of Domination and submission using the rope. It is something I want to deepen more as I believe it offers so many new possibilities and ensures our growth in BDSM.
Lately we have been doing more rope and I made some photographs showing the result. I try to create nice looking fine art pictures but I know that in a year or maybe even sooner I’ll be looking back on the ties with a smile. That too would be a good thing as it proves evolution.
About a year ago I organized a private Shibari tuition at our home. It was a birthday gift for my Princess.
Albeit it was fun and the tutor very experienced, since then I forgot most of it. Too much information in one session and lack of time to exercise. They offer free training evenings in Antwerp. Dates are often incompatible with our agenda and there is the matter of very expensive parking fees near the city.
Today I am much more aware of what I want to achieve with rope. It is about Domination and fulfilling Princesses’ needs. About finding my voice, my signature.
Rope (bondage) is more a dance, a voyage than just having Princess dangling from my ceiling in some artsy combination of knots. It is about generating emotion and sharing intense moments.
Yet I want to grow, become better in the art of tying.
Wouldn’t it be great to be at the club and do a comprehensive and beautiful tie, even a suspension and present it, mainly for our own pleasure, as a little show?
It is great being able to master something but it is even greater to master it in a beautiful way. I am sure it will embellish Princesses beauty and grace even more.
I have been browsing YouTube in order to find intermediate Shibari tutorials that explain well and in a clear way with an eye for security. The human part, the connection is, for me, equally important.
There is quite some good and free stuff available. Often they lead to sites that offer online tuition for a (small) fee.
Most of these tutorials are very technical and often forget to address that human touch I am looking for. I want to get tips and tricks that enhance the emotions and reactions one can create with bondage. There is nothing wrong with these tutorials but that is not what I am looking for. I need an instructor who feels somewhat the same about rope as I do.
A few years ago, I got a two DVD Set called “Japanese Rope Bondage: Tying people, not parcels. Vols I & II“ and learned quite a lot. I found Bruce Esinem to be a very good tutor with lots of experience. In addition, he addresses the human aspect, the emotions and the reactions that go hand in hand with good rope bondage.
Yesterday I had a closer look at Esinem’s Shibari Classes and signed up for a few free classes. It is exactly what I am looking for. Each class is a collection of written information, in-depth tips and video footage. The fee includes personal 101 q&a.
I’ll be starting a series of classes but I haven’t made up my mind yet which one(s) to choose.
Then Princess and I will be using as much of our free time together as possible to learn and exercise. Creating photographs is our second goal and equally fun to do as it is an “art” project we are doing as a couple. Princess enjoys not only to be tied up but the modelling part in front of the camera is something she also likes. It is incredible, lovely and fascinating to see how Princess changes in front of my camera.
Meanwhile I made up my mind and have chosen the Suspension Techniques Level I class. It includes
Essential foundations of suspension
Basic suspension techniques with lots of material to read like beginner’s errors, coping with emergencies and much more. There is also a 45’ minute video tutorial
Hip harness suspension and 65’ worth of video
Vital skills, different suspensions, quick releases and a 53’ tutorial
Another hip harness by Nina Russ
A 2 & 3 rope TK with 28’ worth of video
I’m getting all this for 50 Euro a month. If Princess and I don’t waste our time maybe I’ll be moving to even more advanced tutorials soon.
I am not affiliated in any way with ESINEM and I am simply a paying customer who decided to buy his services.
In the past I bought the Semenawa rope, a Shibari ring and other stuff from Esinem’s site. A delivery error was treated swiftly and correctly, no questions asked.
I planned a new rope session and have quite some ideas how to tie Princess in order to pleasure her and to create some powerful images.
Unfortunately I am tired, slept badly for the past two nights. A dispute between a colleague and me past Monday. His everlasting tsunami of negative remarks about everything, about me, about a sick co-worker, it was too much and I left work that evening extremely stressed.
So now Princess is here and she is worked up somewhat too. We talk, drink some wine.
Then we play but I can’t get the simplest tie right. All the ideas I had, every pose I envisioned, nothing works. My fingers don’t follow what I have in mind. The rope and Princess don’t connect. I don’t connect with Princess either.
So I drop the idea of making photos. Maybe I am trying to hard. Hell, I simply need to tie, to pleasure Princess, myself and connect with her.
I grab my Semenawa rope. Semenawa ropes are for sadistic sessions. Here the desired qualities are quite the opposite to the usual Shibari rope criteria. Fibres such as palm hemp and coconut are chosen specifically because they are scratchy, prickly and generally uncomfortable…especially in sensitive areas.
Now we are going places. I love this rope. Princess senses it too, we connect, Domination and submission dynamics settle in.
Soon Princess in completely under the influence of my movements, the way I tie, the coarse rope scratching her skin.
Then it is there, a new image. I grab my camera and document the moment.
Princess is exhausted, I am tired. We call it a day. Soon we are cuddling up in our bed. We are ready to travel together through yet another night.
I showed Princess the interesting short movie Kinbaku by Jouni Hokkanen.
She did not like how the movie started or ended at all. I myself had not really paid notice as I had been much more interested in the story about Kinbaku and how this relates with the Japanese society today.
“This is not how I want to be identified with as a submissive,” Princess told me and of course she was right.
The movie Kinbaku starts with a model explaining how she had found pleasure in the rope, in being a submissive, after a long period of cutting herself.
In fact, one of the best BDSM-movies ever made, Secretary, has the same approach where the would be submissive is also into self-mutilation but finds her catharsis in being a submissive.
It insinuates that being a submissive implicates there is something (mentally) wrong with you.
That is simply not true.
Princess liked the scenes with Osada Steve and found what he said to be very intense and deep.