Yesterday, August 3rd, was one of these days I will never forget. Each moment, each second is etched forever in my memories.
Yes, it was such a day, filled with laughter, joy and fun, happiness and togetherness.
Princess and I left early in the morning after a short night, we came home from the Fetish Cafe at 03:00 and we had to get up at 08:30. Oh boy what a great and fun experience we had. Can’t write about it at the moment as I am still processing these intensive moments and the new possibilities that now lay in front of us.
We picked up Stella and Star at ‘4’, the mother/baby care-unit and took them to Vlissingen, in The Netherlands at the North Sea coast, only an hour’s drive.
Star is 7 months now and a joyful baby girl and Stella is doing extremely well, ready to leave to care unit after 8 months, starting a new life on her own with her daughter.
The weather was great, sunny and warm with a light and refreshing breeze.
We made pictures of ourselves at the beach and even a photograph of the 4 of us, a first for me. Sure, there are photos of Princess and I and Star, or Star and me, but this was a whole new experience when Stella asked me to make one of us all.
Lying on a beach towel we enjoyed the sun, Stella cuddled up against her mother’s left side; I at Princess’s her right and Star somewhere in between. It was such a fine and intimate experience.
Here I am, I thought, with Princess and her eldest daughter and that lovely baby and I remembered our first date, nearly 2 years ago, when Princess told me about her kids, disturbed because the loss of their father, having it difficult to accept their mother with a new man, let alone having him in their house.
It was about Stella, unfortunately even more troubled, with, amongst other things, issues trusting people, that Princess told me the most.
Stella who unfortunately will need professional help in some way or another for the rest of her life.
I then assumed she would be the most difficult to get acquainted with.
Boy was I wrong.
I was sitting at the beach with Princess and Stella and Star. Stella trusts me and it was a process that steadily grew since that horrendous evening a year ago.
Princess had phoned me that evening asking me to come with her to get Stella who had been victim of domestic violence. Princess didn’t like to go alone, as she wasn’t sure the guy was still around.
I entered the house in a small alley. The night had fallen, no streetlights and the house dark and it was so damned quiet, no sound at all.
We found Stella in the bathroom, crawled away in a corner, desperately crying, bruises on her face, the fucker had even hit her belly while she was already pregnant.
So we found Stella and it was the second time we met, the first time very brief, an awkward moment, months before, when she accompanied Princess and we ran into each other on the street.
I insisted she would press charges, drove them to the police station and for the rest of that night I kept a very low profile, just being there for Princess and her daughter, ready when they would need me.
Saw Stella the day after because Princess wanted me to make photographs of the bruises.
It took several months before I saw Stella again when I offered Princess to make the birth announcement cards. Stella came to my place and we worked on the cards.
I held Star in my arms the day after she was born, before some of her sisters or brother had the chance.
The relation grew and grew, trust was gained. Stella accepted me as her mothers partner and accepted me too as, well, I don’t want to give it a name, that is not important.
Yesterday, when we dropped Stella and Star at the mother/baby care unit and when we said goodbye Stella hugged me as she had never done before and it touched me so very deep. It made me smile, it warmed my heart, it made me so happy.
So here I am, I thought.
After two years Princess’s house still only accessible when I fetch Princess or Stella and Star. No sitting down on the sofa, Princess not able to invite me for dinner nor is it possible to enjoy an evening and a few drinks in her garden.
The Boy and Ar and Bo now tolerate my presence if it is only a very short visit. They don’t talk to me but answer most of the time when I talk to them.
Princess and I have still a long way to go before even starting to imagine a night at her place.
They see their mother not that often nowadays as Princess spends about three of four nights a week at my place.
We have the incredible luxury to spend that time together alone without kids.
Well, except for Little A. of course when she is staying a weekend with me but she does not mind as she simply adores Princess.