Thoughts – July 24th, 2013

I could not fall asleep last night as it was still so hot in my apartment.
I was sweating.
Longing desperately for Princess.
So much going on in my head. Chatter, thoughts and dreams.

Got out of bed little past midnight and sat in front of the 27″ screen of my iMac for a while.
Skin itching and feeling so sticky.
Adjacent windows open but no breeze to bring some relief.
Buzzing mosquitos.
No booze in the fridge. Only water, coke and Schweppes.

Put on my headphones and opened iTunes. I needed something dramatic music to listen to and what is better on a lost and scorching night than Nick Cave’s “Push the Sky Away” with such inaccessible lyrics?

I felt hot myself but I didn’t want to spank the monkey. Hell, I made Princess promise all her orgasms would be mine and thus she is not allowed to masturbate when I am not with her. So I don’t touch myself either and keep it for her.

Lost track of time, did some catching-up reading of recent posts on blogs I follow and then decided I wanted to spend some cash.
Half an hour later I clicked on PayPal finishing my order of adjustable nipple clamps (to add to my collection), a vibrating butt plug (I am looking forward using it), Ben Wa balls and 10 meters of black silk rope.

I went to bed but was only dipped below the surface of sleep, haunted by unpleasant thoughts and feelings and when I woke up this morning I felt wrecked.

No sun, only a grey sky and the promise of a violent summer storm with far away rumbling coming near rapidly.
It is still hot though and I wish I did feel a little better but I don’t as I still am haunted by anxiety.

Dying leaf

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