A blog post on Rubber Bound Princess Diaries I read the other day made me think, well, reflect may be a better description and inspired me writing what you now see on you screen.
The writer has an issue forcing him to visit his physician and tells him he is in a D/s relation. The way it was written how the good doctor reacted made me smile. For him it was the first time he told someone about his fetish life.
Princess and I live our fetish at home but we do not take part of events. Yet that is but we are thinking about it.
We have nobody to discuss or talk with about our D/s lifestyle and we don’t feel we need it.
Well, I need it much more than she does.
Seven or eight months ago I kind of got connected with a colleague. We work both at the IT-department but in different divisions. I can’t recall how it happened but I’m pretty sure we found ourselves at the same table in the company restaurant.
We chit-chatted awhile and from that a more serious conversation emerged. It was very pleasant so the next day we had lunch together again and we even had a few drinks in a nearby pub later on that week and gradually we became friends. Most of our discussions were philosophical reflections but we also talked about our personal lives.
I quickly noticed B. found it therapeutically to talk about his personal life as his was tormented with several issues that had found their origins in his youth.
I trusted him and he was, is, very open-minded and makes no judgments or assumptions.
One day I told him about Princess and our D/s lifestyle and it felt so liberating to do so, even if B. was not a part of the community and had little or no idea what it was all about.
Yes, it was liberating and it gave me new ideas while expressing myself and B. challenged me offering me new point of view.
I learnt it can be of great value to be able to exchange ideas with somebody else, to be able to look outside the box one is sitting in, work with new insights, new ideas.
Unfortunately for our still evolving friendship I noticed some two months ago B. was not well and we talked about this and his feelings and fears. From my experience I feared my new friend was on his way down where a burn-out was eagerly waiting to devour him.
B. was already in therapy with psychiatrist but it was not enough and then one day he didn’t show up at work and stayed home for at least 6 weeks.
When B. came back 2 weeks ago things weren’t the same. He keeps far away from al personal contact, just trying to do his job and not wanting to connect anymore, with no one.
I can only hope B. will get better but after having talked to him twice during lunch this past week it is sad to see that he is merely a shadow of who he was.
I’ve lost my sounding board and I miss being able to talk about my D/s lifestyle and the input one gets from such pondering.
There is my blog but by its nature it is mostly unidirectional communication i.e. writer -> reader.
I decided to create a profile on Fetlife in the hope I could connect to a few people with whom I could write, exchange experiences, ideas and so on. I am not chasing numbers, just a small handful will do.
Up to now the results are almost zero as it seems to be an extremely closed community. I try to find interesting profiles and then write them a message to present myself, motivating why I am contacting them and asking politely of they would accept a friendship request.
It is of course possible that I am doing this the wrong way.
Princess and I are thinking of visiting the Fetish Café in Antwerp and maybe after a while we will make friends. Mind you, not to play together of course, that is an absolute hard limit for us both.