My belt

I’ve packed and I am ready to take you to Bruges, Princess.
This weekend will be, as every single moment we have spent together, memorable and unforgettable.
Most of all I want to make you happy and spoil you and make you feel special.
I want you to feel and to know how much I love you.
Yes, I know you do.
And I know how much you love me.
I can read it in your eyes.
I can feel it in you kisses.
I sense it in your touches and
The way you suck me.
Obey me.
Smile at me.
Want me.

As you asked for I have the clover clamps and the nipple suckers in my suitcase.
And your collar of course and I promise this time I will let you sleep wearing it.

Unfortunately my suitcase is too small to accommodate the horse whip.
I’m sorry for this.

Please accept, instead, the next best thing.
I promise, you will love it.
My belt.

My belt

Church chair

My father was a Catholic, my mother, with English roots, a Protestant. When they wed they where not allowed doing so in front of the main altar because of my mothers believes and she did not want to convert. So the Catholic priest performed the ceremony in a corner of the church. The year was 1958.
I was baptized and I couldn’t do anything about it, I could not say, fuck you, I want to make my own choices.
After all I was only 5 days old.

When I married my former wife, under her parent’s pressure, church ceremony was included.
I remember we had to follow some initiation about “love”, a few evenings during a 3-week period. It turned out I knew much more about Biblical history than she did.
The parish priest was an old man and he refused marrying us because I had told him I respected my partner’s belief but I considered myself an Atheist. After long negotiations and discussions about “respect” I finally had to sign some “official” documents promising that I would educate my offspring as true Catholics. Both my daughters were baptized and did their communions. I am a man of my word.
After out last “training” I told my now Ex I hoped the priest would end up in purgatory and be ass-fucked every single hour by the most hideous demons. She smiled but it never reached her eyes.

Ah, I love to hear those priests and Imams and whatever other sort preaching about tolerance. It counts only when you shop in their mall.
Damned hypocrites.

There is no doubt about it, I am a Christian and I am proud being so. I don’t kill, I don’t steal, I honored my parents, respect others and I don’t fuck another man’s wife.
I am just a human being with respect for other beings but this does not mean I am a Catholic. I simply do not believe.
With all due respect for those who do of course.

On numerous occasions Princess has told me how her parents pushed her, no, forced is a better word, into Catholicism with regular retreats with nuns and God and Hell and so on; Dante’s Inferno injected in the mind of a girl. The result of all this is so obvious… Princess does not want to be a part of this charade and resents it more than I do.

Mind you, I have no problem discussing belief with friends as long as none of us is trying to convert the other party.

I was out shopping in a second-hand store looking for a silver tray to use when we play. Princess will hold it and thus present me the clover clamps, gag ball, blindfold and restraints.

When I saw it I knew I wanted it.
A church chair I acquired for a miserable 1 euro (about 1,30$).
It is a symbol that I will use in a way it was never intended for and I will do so with much pleasure.

We, Princess and I, already used it and we simply love it.
When she kneels it is perfect for whipping and flogging and in that position I performed my first rope bondage.
She sat on it, tied to it, when I dripped hot candle wax on her breasts and labia.

Princess wants one for at home, in her bedroom she is decorating as a donjon, a playroom. Impatiently waiting for the day everything falls in its place and her kids accept me in their home and I will be able to spend the night at her place.

PS.
I hope I have not offended you, dear Reader and if I did believe me, I did not intend to.

Church-chair

About Princess and I… and BDSM

Yesterday in the late afternoon Princess texted telling she missed me very much and was yearning for kisses. What’s the curfew if I wanted to come over and sneak under the cover with you? she added.
I answered she was more than welcome.
Anytime, any day.

When Princess arrived at my place we hugged and I guided her to my sofa where we sat down. We chitchatted for a while, in some sort reviewing the day, drinking excellent Shiraz.

Princess and I are spending this weekend in Bruges.
I asked Princess what she would like me to take with us in case we had time to play, limited to three objects and I made a mental note of my preferences.

“The collar for sure,” Princess replied.
“Okay”, I nodded, “and?”
“One of your whips of course, or the bamboo stick, I’m not sure. Could we take both? Please?”
I smiled.
Then Princess hesitated.
“Tell me,” I encouraged her.
“The clover clamps,” she answered, hesitatingly. “Omg, did I just say this?” Princess continued, “I hate these things, well, kind of hate/love them to be more precise.”
“Go on, tell me, Princess.”
“They hurt, they sting so much and when you take them out your black box of pain I feel fear even if I know now how they feel. Yet when you whip or cane me, or fuck me from behind, they feel so good, they increase the gratification I feel.”
Once again I smiled, I remember the effect they had, surprising us both, just a few days ago, just before we ended our play. I will be writing about it.

We love talking about how we play so we can fine tune and explore new paths and this time we made some sort of overview. Where are we, where can we grow, what needs more attention, new paths.
This is what we agreed upon.

Bondage
Not enough was the first thing Princess said, as she likes to be tied up. It is about wanting to feel helpless and giving Me all her trust.
Recently we have been talking about shibari and Princess is eager to try it.

Domination
We both feel we can grow here. It has been a minor aspect of our play. Princess wants to explore and discover what it means for her to be ordered. She gave me some examples and they will be included in our next play. I have some ideas too but weirdly I find it easier to use a whip than verbal domination.

SM
Princess and I smiled at each other because we enjoy this part the most. There is room for growth of course, like increasing the intensity without exaggerating, but I should also find new ways to inflict pain on my Loved one.
I am still flabbergasted how wet Princess becomes when, for example, I whip her or play with hot candle wax. She told me she has something with fire and maybe this should be explored, within all safety limits of course.
Oddly Princess does not like me playing with ice although she introduced it. Well, to be honest, Princess likes to use it on me (I enjoy it very much), not the way around.

It was getting late and we both had to get up early. Princess and I were hot and we made love for an hour or two before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

There was one thing though we didn’t talk about. I prefer to write it down though because it isn’t that big deal, well most of the time. And I guess Princess knows this already, from deep within.
Sometimes, after an intense play, I feel a little down and uneasiness creeps in. We both had a great time; it was consensual, hot and intense. Yet somewhere in deep in my brain education and taboo’s start to fight with what I’ve just done and makes me feel, well, uneasy, a little guilty maybe.

Princess feels this and she soothes me very well. Before falling asleep thanking me over and over for playing; telling me how much she enjoyed it. And in the days after, on the phone or in a short text message, she emphasizes she wants to play again.
ASAP, Milord. Please…

I made this image a few days ago and it is our first attempt in rope bondage. It is based on a short video by Two Knotty Boys and is called Dragonfly Sleeve.
Of course it is not perfectly done but whom am I kidding, I’m a novice at this!

Rope bondage - 05.29.2013

Thoughts – May 26th, 2013

Yesterday evening Princess brought me a bouquet of hand-picked lilac that grows abundantly in her garden. They smell delicious and I like the deep purple color of the small flowers.

Lilac

We went to our dance lesson and learned a new combination. I guess I’ll have to practice this one a few times as I feel I don’t manage the footwork very well yet.

Back home we watched the last 30′ of Titanic with Little A. while enjoying a glass of delicious Shiraz. After that we went to bed, made love and after Princess had cum lavishly we changed the sheets and slept in each other’s arms, such an intense feeling.

Said good morning to Princess, we kissed, cuddled for a while and then she left.

It is still cold outside, the sky grey and almost no sun. It has been like this for weeks now. So depressing!

Last year at exact the same date, we were in France, at the Opal Coast, on our first weekend together and it was hot and very sunny all through the weekend.

This afternoon I took my bicycle, my Olympus E-PM1 around my neck, an extra lens in my pocket and I visited the Southern Colors not far from where I live. It is a fair where third world countries show products and hand-made objects, offer local snacks and so on.

I sat in a Berber tent savoring delicious Moroccan tea and enjoying a Cuban band playing on a stage next of where I was sitting. Missed the presence of Princess though but she had to spend some time with her kids.

Tajine

This evening we are going out for dinner!
I’m taking Princess, Little A., Big A. and M., her boyfriend to a Chinese restaurant and after that the love of my life is staying the night with me.

Princess is, next to my two girls, the best thing life has ever given me.

Thoughts – May 23th, 2013

It is great to look back, even if it spans only a few weeks, and notice everything is becoming better.
Princess is spending more and more of her nights at my place and I have grown accustomed waking up and seeing the Love of my life lying next to me, still sound asleep. Giving her the slightest of kisses on her forehead, afraid of waking her up, sliding out of bed, so early in the morning while the only thing I want is to stay with her.
It is so great to find traces of her in the bathroom, a toothbrush, make-up, or shoes in the dressing room and it shows how Princess is now really a part of my life. And vice versa.

A few weeks ago we spent a day at the seaside with Stella and Star. It was a nice day with lots of sun but still rather cold. I made a zillion photographs and later on, while envisioning them, Princess told me her daughter was really radiating with happiness and pleasure. For a moment Stella had forgotten her troubles. Star just smiled, sucked her bottle, pooped and slept.

We were, Princess, Stella, Star and I, for a moment, one day, a small family and it felt damn good.

Finally Stella got a message from the social housing company that an apartment was assigned to her. And in a month or two, maybe three, she will say goodbye to ‘4’, the mother/baby unit where she has been staying since the beginning of January. Letting loose, starting something new, I don’t think it will be easy for Stella but she is surrounded by people who love and care for her.

Hell, even Little A. is spending more and more time at my place.

And we, Princess and I, well, we are evolving in this BDSM lifestyle that has added so much pleasure and spice to our life, in the same time developing our personalities.
Shibari will be our next step, a mix of patience, art and photography, submission too of course.
Princess has also indicated she would love to enter the nightlife, the pubs where kindred spirits meet and off course I am all ears.

May 23th.
T-4 days
Almost 54

Fuck I have waited 52 years before being finally 100% happy in every way one can think of.
Thank you Princess.
I love you more than life.
You and I.

This picture is not mine, it downloaded it from http://axman.tumblr.com.
I need to  make my own images again.
Princess?

Waiting

Princess orgasms

Last night it was hard to fall asleep. Princess  spent the previous 2 nights at my place and now she was at home. Her kids need  Q-time with their mother too.
My bed felt so damned empty and I missed Princess’s warm body next to mine. It makes my day when I’m able to say good morning and kiss her gently before getting up and leave for work.

So I couldn’t find sleep and started thinking how the sexual part of our relation has evolved.

It took us about 3 weeks after we first dated before we made love going all the way and it was by all means unforgettable. We took our time to discover each others bodies and we enjoyed the touching, the kissing and everything that happens when two people engage in lovemaking for the first time. It was of course plain vanilla and it would remain so for months to come.

I can’t recall the precise moment but at one point, we were almost one year together, I pulled Princess’s hair during lovemaking and to my big surprise she seemed to enjoy it intensely.
Curious I tried it again and again and hell, Princess loved it and when I slapped her buttocks, gently, she almost came instantly.

Could she be a real sub, I started hoping and one evening we talked about it and she told me she loved to be sexually submissive. It was something that had been dormant deep in her waiting to be awakened and I was Princess’s wakeup call.

Vanilla gradually disappeared and whips and clamps and other paraphernalia helped us enjoy our lovemaking even more.

The first steep step was the collar and when I introduced it Princess resented it as a bridge to far, too explicit as she was still discovering what being a sub really meant for her.
Now she shivers in anticipation when I collar Princess.

Gradually I noticed it was more the pleasure of pain that made her tick, giving her very intense orgasms.
I remember the first time I pinched her nipples she screamed like mad. Now she loves clamps on them and I can’t pinch hard enough and dripping hot candle wax on her tits is like candy for a kid.

When we started developing our BDSM relation the spanking was a result of punishment but Princess enjoyed it so much we ended integrating it in our lovemaking. I use my hands, a horse whip or a couple of flexible bamboo sticks Princess bought me a while ago.

Over time I’ve learned and helped Princess to enjoy our lovemaking at its fullest, without any restrictions or taboos, helping her to let everything go and to float on her feelings and sensations, listening to her body.

A month or two ago we were in bed making love; Princess had mounted me, riding me while I pinched her nipples and slapping her behind.
Suddenly her eyes turned away, her breathing intensified and I felt intense convulsing around my cock. A long gasp followed and at that precise moment I felt a warm liquid running over my thighs. Princess fell down over me, shivering, her eyes deep pools of intense emotions.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered almost in tears now, “I think I peed. I’m so sorry. I feel so ashamed. Please, forgive me.”
I smiled and hugged her and comforted her, assuring it wasn’t the case and that there was nothing to be ashamed of.
“But I peed,” Princess insisted.
Gently I stroked her back and kissed her ever so softly on her lips and told her she had simply experienced a female ejaculation.
At first she didn’t believe me, she had never heard of such a thing so later on I showed her some websites explaining the what and how of female ejaculation.
Princess still felt very awkward about it but gradually I made her feel at ease with what happened that evening.

Since a few weeks Princess has really thrown everything overboard and enjoys at its fullest these incredible deep sensations that come with a female ejaculation.
Princess now comes several times when we make love, I’m not bragging about it, and begs for more. Until now, well, until a few days ago, this only happened when we were fucking in bed, sideways, looking at each other, her leg under my hip. Or while riding me.

One morning I had to pull the mattress on my terrace facing the street to dry in the sun, hell Princess had really gone for it, begging for more and more.
I guess passers-by must have thought I peed in my bed and we contemplated about how we could best avoid moisture damage.

Finally we bought two waterproof mattress protectors so we have a spare one when the other is in the washing machine.

Until a few days ago Princess ejaculating was limited to fucking in bed and we came to think it had also something to do with how we were positioned.

We were wrong and it came so unexpected and so intense it knocked us off our feet.

Thorns

Thank you Princess

I would like to share, with this post, the intense feelings of happiness and love that devour my body. Every nerve is awake and passion flows through my veins. And with it lust.
Friendship.
Respect.
Trust.
Love.
Unconditional LOVE.

Princess, thank you for being at my side, making me feel safe and wanted. Loved too. Appreciated.
You have, without any doubt, made me a better person.

You have given me inspiration and the much-needed meaning to my life because when we met I was travelling through life without a compass.

At your side I have experienced deep moments of joy and pleasure and shared some less good moments. They made our relation ever stronger.

Thank you, Princess.
You are my heart and my soul. Ma raison d’être.
I love you so much, so deep, so intense.

You and I.

Holding a promise