Thoughts – April 7th, 2013

13:00 PM this Sunday, April 7th.
The sun is shining and for the first time since long it isn’t freezing cold anymore, about 10° C (50° F) according to the thermometer on my terrace.
Blue sky and a few fluffy clouds and in the nearby trees I hear birds singing.

Today, 10 years ago, 10 Belgian Para commandos were brutally slaughtered, beaten to death, in Kigali. It is one of the horrible stories that happened during the Rwandan genocide killing about 800.000 Hutus and Tutsis.

Nick Cave is singing, Push The Sky Away is an awesome piece of work with beautiful little stories.

Yesterday in the early afternoon Princess and I fetched Stella and Star. When we arrived at the Mother/baby unit Stella was sitting there, reading a magazine, Star was lying next to her and when she saw me she smiled and blew some bubbles and made some joyful sounding noises.
I felt so happy and so moved, this little baby, 3 months old, recognizes me, or my voice and gives me such a broad and honest smile. Fucking awesome!
Stella was fired up, Princess had warned me for that, and she started talking about an apartment for hire she had seen.

I can understand that Stella is fed up with this Mother/child unit and that she wants to stand on her own feet. Unfortunately she isn’t ready to live alone, nor can she afford it. At the moment her only option is to come back home where she has her own room, an ideal starting point for a new life. She is on the waiting list for social housing but Stella is so eager to be on her own feet it is hard to talk with her, to make her understand it is not that easy.

On the way back home she was so excited, so nervous I had to stop at two occasions so Stella could jump out of the car to vomit.

Later that evening Princess came by as she always does on Saturday evening. We went to our dancing class and enjoyed it very much as we are getting better and better and I’m finally getting better in leading.

Princess and I grabbed a pita afterwards and then we went back home with the intention to play.
I opened a bottle of excellent Shiraz and Princess went for the billionth time that evening to the toilet. It was 21:30 or so.
“Strange,” Princess told me, “I needed to, but finally didn’t but it feels so painful, so irritating.”
“Hmmm,” I said, “sounds like cystitis. Did you have this same feeling yesterday?”
She nodded in confirmation.
“Let’s get you to the doctor then,” Googling for a doctor on guard. I phoned him and we could come immediately.
He couldn’t confirm cystitis but was pretty sure it was the case. He wrote a prescription and Princess and I found a pharmacy on guard

Back home we enjoyed some Bowie and the Shiraz and turned in a little past midnight and made love, so intense, and finally fell asleep some two hours later.

We woke up at 8, got out of bed at 9 and had breakfast, Princess and I. We talked and I enjoyed a piece of cheesecake she had made. Hell, we talked about me living at her place and it felt good doing so. It won’t be for this year or next year, but discussing this makes is much more real.

Then she had to leave, my Princess.

I’ll be picking her up later on today, at 7 or so, and we will drive Stella and Star to the mother/baby unit and we will go dancing afterwards.

Thank you Princess for making my life worthwhile.
For loving me, for caring about me, for trusting me.

I love you so much, Princess.

Another still life

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