Thoughts – March 22, 2013

Thank god it is Friday evening. Weekend!
This Sunday it is Little A’s birthday (13) but I doubt if I will see her as she lives with her mother and there are the Easter school exams and so on.
Little A. is with me next weekend and I have planned a two-day stay in the Ardennes with her. Hope the weather will be okay, it is still freezing cold and there is no trace of a hint of spring yet.

On March 20th Princess and I spend some time on the phone and we kind of congratulated each other for the great and wonderful 18 months we have spent together as a couple.

Princess has made me extremely happy, I can’t image life without her anymore and we are committed to grow old. Together that is.
I remember our first date. We had finished our dinner and we were walking to the car. I was deeply touched by her story about her husband who was killed in a car crash a year before, how difficult it had been for her 5 kids and one foster daughter and how she tried to manage this family who wasn’t ready for an intruder in their lives.
I realized Princess had been very honest with me and I was grateful for this. Much later she told me she was pretty damn sure our story would be one date only, she never expected I would fight for her heart the way I did. The way I still do.
At moments it has been very difficult and even today 3 of her kids do not accept me and have problems when I enter the house, even if it is only for a few minutes.
So I remembered our first date, we were walking back to the car and honest to god, I have no clue why, but suddenly I asked Princess if one day she would marry again.
Her answer was immediate, no hesitation whatsoever: hell NO.
“Okay,” I said, “I understand.”

Today Princess knows that in a near future I will ask for her hand and I’m pretty sure what her answer will be.

Every 20th of the month also means a deadline for Princess. She is expected to write something for my blog and this time she didn’t deliver.
We talked about this on the phone yesterday and she rapidly admitted she didn’t have a real reason for not having written something.
It was late and she was lying in bed and I was also and we wanted to be together but we couldn’t and we had been talking about buying a bed together for when I would move in one day. In a few years, I hope.
Her bedroom I have never seen except for some hazy iPhone pictures she had made for me.

“Are you mad I didn’t send you something for the blog?” she suddenly asked.
“No, of course not,” I reassured her.
“Really?” There was something in her voice but I didn’t capture it.
“Really,” I told her.
Silence and I heard Princess sigh.
“I want to be punished Mylord. Please discipline me when we see each other on Saturday,” she begged, “I am craving for it, the whip, the candle wax, the clamps. The blindfold, the pinching.”
“Princess…” I tried.
“I need to submit to You, I want You to inflict pain on me, it has been so long. Please, Mylord. I want to give myself completely to You.”

I promised Princess I would do so. Hell, I needed it too.

It has been months since we last played after having discovered how we both where into bdSM and its very positive influence on our relationship.
It didn’t stop, not really, but these past few months have been emotionally heavy for both of us. So bdsm lost terrain and we needed to know we could rely on each other and we wanted other ways and vanilla, well, mixed with some rough stuff, seemed the right answer.

I am looking forward on putting Princess’ her collar on again.
She does too.

I should write about these emotional moments we had these past few months and have made all the difference. They have not only made our relationship deeper but made me a better man.
When I decide to write about it Princess will recognize the story because it will be called ‘4’.

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