Saturday morning, 02:45 am.
We hung up the phone, well, actually she threw it down and I can’t blame Princess. Sometimes I can be a raging bull. Like I mentioned before, I am not the prefect guy.
Never pretended to be one.
Just before the click that precedes a broken telephone line I heard her cry. Just some tiny weeping but it was enough to bring reason back. I felt like a huge motherfucking asocial asshole and I felt a deep pain in my heart. Had I gone to far?
I dialed her number once again but she didn’t answer.
Called Princess on her voicemail and told her at the end I was so sorry. Told her I wanted to grow old with her. Told her how much I loved her.
Finally I texted Princess and half an hour later she answered, writing me she still loved me. Deeply. Life had not ended.
I spend the biggest part of Saturday feeling bad sad and depressive. Wishing I could turn back time, take back my anger, my fears and my verbal abuses.
Finally the kid’s stuff doesn’t matter, we are together and we enjoy so much the privacy we have at my place. At the end place isn’t important, time is though.
Princess came by later that evening and it was not more than normal that we felt a little uneasy.
We talked some more, then our arms met and after some hesitation our lips and one kiss later everything that happened the evening before was covered under a quilt of forgiveness.
Princess and I enjoyed some Cava, I introduced her to the Piano Guys, a group I had recently discovered. Served my love smoked salmon and some more Cava.
“Listen,” I told her. “Listen and don’t argue. Okay?”
I looked in her eyes, her beautiful eyes. O boy, I can forget everything.
“On Xmas eve you are with you family?”
“Yes.” I heard her swallow ‘Milord’.
“Good. I will be with you.”
“Yes. I will be with you, on you and everybody will see and know I am in your life.”
She remained silent, smiling though. Then she whispered, “that you own me?”
“No Princess, I do no own you, I can only hope you give yourself to me. And as a matter of a fact, 100% will do.”
We laughed and then I told her I wanted to give her my Xmas present.
“Sure?” Princess asked.
“Yes. I want to be with you even when I’m not able or allowed to be physically present.”
Princess took her time unwrapping the gift.
She smiled when she held it in her fingers and she smiled ever more when I took it and fastened it around her neck. A fine silver chain and a silver heart, covered with Zirconium stones.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome,” I replied and kissed her. It looks awesome on her and it is a beautiful symbol, stylized, not the traditionally (broken) heart youngsters buy.
I’ll post a picture of it one of these days. Maybe I’ll include a nipple for you to enjoy.
The fight was over but completely forgotten. Everything leaves its traces.